I’m a single mom in NJ, here’s my story

I’m a single mom in NJ, here’s my story. My ex-husband has put me in a terrible spot. We were divorced 4 years ago. Last month, he filed for bankruptcy..for the2nd time. I pulled my credit report and found a couple of weird things. First, on 2 reports, my last address is the address that he is now living.

I never lived there. also, there are 2 judgments that were listed. 1 is a debt that during our divorce, he stated that he paid, the other is when he took one of our cars to work knowing that the car had no insurance and hit an electical pole, besides these 2 judgments, there are a lot of collections that were supposed to be taken care of by the charity care of our local hospital.

On paper, it looks like I am 14,000 in debt. I only make 23,000 a year and do not want to file bankruptcy. can anyone help me??? i need help quickly because i need to get a mortgage for my home that i have been living in for 9 years, and even though I only owe 60,000, if i dont’ get the mortgage, i may loose it. Thanks

Sometimes bankruptcy is the best choice

Suze O is not the only financial advisor who will tell someone that sometimes bankruptcy is the best choice.

Harvard Professor Elizabeth Warren puts it this way:

If you can’t pay in a timely manner, then consider filing bankruptcuy.

I wouldn’t trust any financial advisor who eliminates bankruptcy as a solution.

It makes sense if you are drowning in CC debt with loan shark interest to get out from this crushing debt. The CC co’s piled that loan shark interest on because they saw a person as a high risk to default. What they are saying is:

Pay us FAST, or we will keep you in debtors prison with this loan shark interest and we will pile on more fees, like over the limit fees, NOT because you are spening, but because the high interest is making you go over the limit. Some will even lower your available credit so they can make sure you get the over the limit fee tacked on.

I think you’ve misunderstood what he said

He says that those problems can definitely lead to bankruptcy being the only option – not that they do not apply to you.

As for the bankruptcy, I’m 7 years out of mine and have rebuilt my credit. I own my own house, my own vehicle, and know how to stay out of debt and live within my means. Many problems contributed to my bankruptcy, including personal, but I wouldn’t say that I, or anyone, “deserves” a fresh start. I agree that I deserved to learn how to manage my life and money better.

It took me many years to recover emotionally from the bankruptcy because I personally felt horrible about not repaying what I owed people – I borrowed in good faith and I ended up screwing people out of their money. Regardless of the circumstances for borrowing, it was still disturbing for me to dump all my debt, since debt is something that someone somewhere had extended to me in good faith.

I think bankruptcy is a necessity in some situations, it was in mine, but it is VERY important to learn from it and not head down the same road again.

Ok, I understand exactly what everyone is speaking of. Yes, I may have misused the word “deserve”. Its a matter of symantics. But, I also want to say, that the last thing that was on my mind at the time was paying bills. The only thing that was on my mind and the mind of my doctors and family was recovery. So no I never had a problem managing my funds before this time and I don’t have a problem managing them now. But, it will be close to impossible for me to catch up. I’ve always owned my own car outright and still do.

Like I said, catching up will be the problem. Those 3yrs without income threw everything out of whack. Staying afloat is most important.

Well we filed last year and put our over taxed crappy trailer house on our bankruptcy, we havent been able to finance a car or even get a credit card without it being secured even if I wanted another one. We are current on all our bills, rent, utilities, financed a car at a tote-the-note car lot since my other car was on the bankruptcy. I put 10%down on the newer-used car I had to get. We couldnt do anything more now than we did before but we were able to sleep at night knowing that they werent going to be knocking on my door about a hospital bill I could no longer pay. We were advised by our lawyers to put the house and car on it since we were over financed for them and couldnt sell them since bk was a once in a lifetime deal. Our lawyers also said that we didnt even have a drop in the bucket compared to what others filed over.

So I don’t think that everyone can start over the next day after filing but everyone that I have talked with had the same reaction to us, it’s not the end of the world but it isn’t a one time get out of jail to start it over the next day.

We do things differently now than we did before. We pay in cash for everything (well our visa/debit card on our checking also). We havent gotten over the ideal that the cute little bobble or thingy we saw at the store we need, no way. We have totally changed the way we think about doing it over again. We don’t want to be there. Now my husband has a better job with better insurance and I still stay at home with the kids as before.

You have to take the good with the bad I guess.

What is wrong with Bankruptcy

Hello, New to this great blog. I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to file bankruptcy for the past 2yrs and in this time my credit did not improve. I am a single mom, was a victim of a crime, put on disability for 3yrs and just now getting back into the work force. I even heard Suze Orman say, sometimes bankruptcy is the best for some to become solvent again. My FICO score is less than anyone could imagine and actually it would be higher if I filed bankruptcy.

I deserve a fresh start and yes, I was paying on my debt before the unfortunate circumstances in my life. I’ve also consulted with people who have filed bankruptcy and they said, it was the best thing for them. I figure for the past 3yrs I have paid everything with cash. I have no desire to obtain any credit cards in the future.

Only considering a home in about 2yrs. I’ve spoken to lenders who have obtained financing for people fresh out of bankruptcy. They said, creditors will finance someone fresh out of bankruptcy quicker as opposed to someone who has horrible credit. Because they know you cannot file bankruptcy again.

So I’m truly trying to find reasoning as to what is wrong with it. I think somewhere or some how our society has placed a sense of shame on those who sincerely require relief from their debt, especially under special circumstances.

You can get a mortgage with a bankruptcy HOWEVER you need to have 20% minimum as a down payment and your interest rate will be much higher.

Like I said, I’m only about paying cash for everything necessary. Actually the lender is a relative of mine and no the people he has dealt with did not have 20% down, but I remember he said, they negotiated with the seller and I think many of them were first time home buyers and received addt’l asistance. So that’s not necessary true. I am so much more comfortable in my life and more at piece with out the credit delimmas.

Sometimes bankruptcy is the only option, usually when the debts are stressing out the family and causing marital problems, or health related problems from the stress.

I doubt you “deserve” a fresh start. What you do deserve is a chance to manage your money and keep it under control, you also deserve the opportunity to repay debts caused by circumstances beyond your control.

You might want to carefully rebuild your credit history with one card at a low limit ($1000) you pay off each and every month. This will help your credit history recover from any past problems and improve your FICO score. With poor credit it is almost impossible to get a mortgage or a loan, even though there still are services offering installment loans for customers even with bad credit. Still you do not want your credit to be low, don’t you?

Whatever you do, be careful and you will be able to make the most of the opportunity declaring bankruptcy presents you with.

Wow, interesting how you don’t think all those things as an option to bankruptcy didn’t apply to me. Let me see, family stress, divorce and definitely health related. Where do I fit in that those things did not pertain to me?

But, aside from that..I’m doing what I need to do for me and my two kids. No one can put themselves in someone else’s shoes. I was only giving my opinion about different situations.

I had a small SUV that I had to sell

Hi! I need some advice. I had a small SUV that I had to sell when I had my 3rd child as it was too small. We got behind on the payments because we were paying extra on it every month, and a lady at the company told me that all the extra we had paid equaled up to a payment so we could skip a pymt for a month, which we did. Then we found out that wasn’t true but by that time there was no way we could catch it up. We had somebody that was going to buy the car but then a guy showed up at our house from the company trying to get money.

He said that we were not allowed to sell the car, we had to give it back to them, and that if I gave it back they would sell it and I would not owe anything more. I wasn’t working at the time because I was pregnant. He also said if I didn’t have it there in the morning for them to pick up he would have the sheriff at my house with a warrant. So I got the car back and then they didn’t come get it.

It took 3 phone calls over 2 weeks before they finally came and got it. They they sold it for less than I owed and so now they say I owe over 3,000.00 and they are taking me to court this month. GMAC who I got the car from, says that they have written it off to bad debt and they sold the account to the lawyer who is on the papers, however the lawyer says that that is not so, they are representing GMAC. The cout papers say GMAC vs. me.

If GMAC did sell it to them, is it legal for the lawyer to put the lawsuit in their name and how do I find out who is telling the truth? I only work 1 day a week so I can not afford a lawyer to help me. And I cannot prove any of what that man told me in court, it is their word against mine. Thanks

I Had the same with Chrysler, I had a 23,000 van and they repoed it and sold it 2 years later for 16,000 then 3 years later they contaced me saying i owe them 22,000 because of interest court and other fees. You need to set up a payment (no interest)with them. Barganing is your best option or loan to pay that debt off. Me personally, I couldn’t see paying 22,000 for something I don’t have, so I’m filing Bankruptcy.

What state are you in? Here in Michigan there is an agency called Legal Help, which provides free legal help. There might be a waiting list and it’s not easy to get in touch. Try calling a toll free number for attorney/lawyer referral. Most lawyers will give a free fifteen or twenty minute meeting and they might be able to give you advice. Others will charge a modest fee of $20 or $50. I once had one do the needed work pro bono (free!). Also check out the local court building. In the city here the district court has an office where they give legal advice on how to fill out forms, where to get forms, and other questions. I forget what the place is called but they were really helpful for me.